Bonus Content 1: Easy Delicious Pasta Sauce

It’s been a while since I posted (I was going to do the Red Country Turnip Plate, but a combo of a stomachache and spoilt turnips put an end to that), so I figured I’d do something constructive for once and actually help you in the kitchen. So I’m gonna show you how I make my pasta sauce.

I forgot to include the tomato paste. Also, ignore the sourdough starter.

Now, a couple of disclaimers: this isn’t the best pasta sauce ever. It’s also not the easiest. But, it’s the ideal compromise between “delicious” and “easy”. Would you get better results with some sort of all-day Sunday gravy? Hell yeah. Is it easier to just plop a jar of Ragu onto some ground beef? Again, the answer is “hell yeah”. This recipe will get you the best taste for the most reasonable amount of work. It may make your Italian grandmother unhappy, but I’m Scotch-German so I don’t have to deal with that. Anyway, you’ll need:

  • 1 can of tomato sauce
  • Vodka (yes, vodka)
  • Pepper, basil, misc. spices
  • Diced onions
  • Olive oil
  • Garlic
  • Tomato paste
  • 1 lb ground beef/turkey/whatever
  • Pasta of your choice

So the first thing you’re gonna wanna do is dump your tomato sauce into a bowl. Sprinkle in some pepper, some dried basil, and, if your tomato sauce is the “no salt added” kind, some salt. Stir that around, then add one ounce of vodka and stir it in. If you absolutely eschew the use of alcohol, I can’t think of a good substitute, so it won’t be as good, I’m sorry. Vodka is an amazing addition to tomato sauce.

Once your sauce is mixed, sauté some diced onions with olive oil in a small saucepan until translucent, then crush in 4-6 cloves of garlic. Cook this until fragrant, then pour the tomato sauce into the pan, then drop in some tomato paste. Bring it to a simmer then reduce to low heat.

In a different pan, start cooking your meat until browned, then drop in your pasta sauce (if you used really fatty meat, remove most of the fat first). Keep that at a low simmer while you cook your pasta. Once cooked, combine them. Top with some Parmesan cheese and enjoy.

Like I said, it’s not the world’s greatest pasta sauce. But it’s very, very good and can easily be made on a weeknight. For an extra 10 minutes of your life you’ll get an extra 30…flavor points. That’s…that’s the scientific measurement of flavor, alongside the French point de saveur or the German Tasteypunkt. Look it up.

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